Vatican Warns Trump: DO NOT GO TO NIBIRU

The Vatican last week issued an ominous warning to besieged American President Donald J. Trump: “Do not go to Nibiru. All you will find there is death,” according to a White House source who claims Trump received the message from a Vatican emissary who arrived in Washington early Friday afternoon. The message was delivered in a letter, authored by Pope Francis and Vatican Secretary of State Pietro Parolin, that directly referenced Trump’s intent to send the U.S. Space Force on a fact-finding mission to the Nibiru system.

As reported last week, Trump and his secretive Space Force have embarked on an ambitious plan that will see a reverse-engineered alien craft zoom to the dark star and its orbiting planets. The stated goal is to determine why the dreadful celestial interloper has apparently “stalled” in space and not yet reached perigee.

Vatican Jesuit spies implanted in the White House likely learned of Trump’s plan and reported their findings to the Bishop of Rome, our source said, underpinning widespread belief that operatives of the Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword, the Pope’s personal espionage entity, had infiltrated White House security and Trump’s inner circle. The letter’s contents show the Vatican’s tentacles stretch deep into the Oval Office, he added.

The correspondence reminded Trump that the Vatican considers Nibiru its eminent domain and has no tolerance for meddlesome “outsiders” who violate the sanctity it attaches to Nibiru. It repeated an admonition given to Trump in 2017 when he briefly considered revealing the Nibiru realities to the American public: “Warn the world about Nibiru at your own peril.” The unholy city has now expanded on that threat. “Go to Nibiru and you will find only death. No man can reach Nibiru, and its inhabitants will not welcome foreigners. That which is and what is on Nibiru is not meant for any man, including you, Mr. President, to explore,” the letter purportedly said.

Trump’s astringent response alarmed the Vatican courier who had brought the Pope’s message to Washington. Trump passed the letter to VP Pence, directing him to feed it into a shredder, and unceremoniously banished the Vatican agent from the White House, demanding that neither he nor any other Vatican official again set foot on White House soil.

“The Vatican is a sore loser. They’re losing bigtime. Our Space Force is really, really great. It’s perfect. A perfect Space Force. Who does that guy think he is? The only foreign power I listen to is Bennie (his nickname for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu) not some crooked guy in Rome,” Trump allegedly told Pence, who said the president’s linguistic tirade was an acceptable, measured response to Vatican interference.

Not all the president’s men, however, were ebullient at Trump’s sapient disavowal of Roman authority. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo urged caution, saying war with Rome might fracture America’s relationship with its allies. Trump responded with a dismissive wave of the hand, saying, “I’m the president. I make the decisions. I don’t care if we have to send 100 ships, we’re going to learn, we’re going to learn the truth about this Nibiru.”